Why Not Stop Being Self-Conscious when you are Ready to Give a Talk?
Let’s face it, the higher the stakes like for instance confronting someone who did wrong by us or standing in front of an audience often robs us of the ability to be ourselves. Here’s how to deal with it.
The real game of a conscious and confident person is to consistently thrive to operate as oneself. Be yourself so you avoid being mistaken for someone else :) As yourself you can see the potential in every moment.
Let’s face it, the higher the stakes like for instance confronting someone or standing in front of an audience often robs us of the ability to be ourselves with real confidence.
Calm, collected, facial expression relaxed, focused, alert, in control and ready to engage fully are some of the qualities necessary to demonstrate that indeed, you are being yourself. What a treat for an audience or whomever you are speaking to for that matter, to witness these qualities in action.
Okay, but how do you get there while being watched, scrutinised or even judged?
The keys are: (1)autonomy and (2)putting yourself first. Your natural sense of self and its expressions emerge in front of anyone as a direct function of your complete autonomy and desire to be in charge.
You are the only active ingredient when you express yourself and it is a very uniquely selfish process. That selfishness is a true expression of your caring. It’s not a contradiction except so many people ignore the fact. Just like an actor has to ignore the camera in order to act freely, any person must do the same with their interlocutor. It is so vital to the game of sharing.
If you’re not in charge and accountable, who will? The practical application is to always let your presence speak first. When you allow your mind to speak without the full presence of the body, you automatically go out of rhythm and out of timing as well. You may want to read that again :)
Soon, you become self-conscious and off you go into no man’s land as people watch your body language at 65% intensity, listen to your voice tone at 30% while listening to your words at 5% interest. It’s like driving with 5% air in your tires. Please don’t try that :)
Drop in your body, feel its weight and its breathing. Let your face, postures, gestures and voice tone do the communicating FIRST. The confident relaxation benefits are enormous and your credibility, talent and purpose are then revealed effortlessly.
Whether we do it professionally or not, we’re always speaking and expressing in one form or another. Public speaking, communicating, acting, and performing are different variations of self-expression mediums that require the use of the “language of confidence”. That language begins in the body, any dancer will tell you that or musician for that matter—losing your violin or your guitar as in drop on the floor is not an option.
Your body IS your instrument when it comes to communication.
I wish it were otherwise but hardly anyone gets that confidence is mechanical and extraordinarily physical. Presence is physical, so is listening as it is sound that makes it to you through your ears, which (you ears) are also physical — then the brain translates the sound waves into concepts. The brain is a physical organ as well.
Language becomes powerful when it is not betraying the physical realm and therefore lacks true confidence. All art forms are physical i.e. painting, music, writing, dancing, acting, etc. That healthy communication with people and public speaking are generally excluded by our cultures is simply a matter of complete ignorance and very poor self-expression education—or both.
It’s not too late to rewire your understanding and start playing this game of communication like an informed and well-practiced individual. Become a professional athlete of your words, your postures and of your gestures. It will keep paying you back endlessly :)
It is never too late to start!
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