Why Acceptance & Validation are the Keys to Personal Development?
Every person is not only unique, but expresses uniquely. However, it is only a potential until one is ready to confront their deep-seated fears, honestly. Discover how…
Beyond the required skills to communicate effectively in our everyday interactions or deliver speeches successfully, lies a deeper and larger meaning. It is the context of our own acceptance, validation and personal power.
Underneath the obvious purpose of communication is the desire for acceptance and the hope that our message will be well received. However, the communicator, i.e. the human being, is the vessel or instrument through which the message has to travel.
How can others accept us if we do not accept ourselves?
In any situation, aspects of ourselves that are not accepted or fully integrated get exposed. Dormant fears become active as we are seen under a microscope when we open our mouths. Within our normal personal, social and professional contexts, it is crucial to realize what is being observed.
People do not hear the words we speak, but the tone of our voice and the gestures and postures we display.
The magic of being in relationship to others, is that if there are things that we have not embraced about ourselves, they will be revealed. Aspects of our experience that have been brushed aside, buried, ignored, rejected, repressed, ridiculed, punished, left bleeding, etc., all potentially emerge in public. All, without our knowledge.
For example, that’s what makes public speaking challenging and rather difficult for most people. Otherwise, why in heaven would we have issues with public speaking? The same goes on socially.
Genuine self-discovery happens through others in relationship or in public. During early childhood, our expression is more spontaneous and a truer reflection of who we are; body and mind work together in close to perfect harmony.
By exposing our vulnerabilities, we become attractive to any audience, but only once we have accepted these vulnerabilities ourselves. The hiding always reveals, and the exposing makes transparent. Society typically celebrates sameness, not differences. From early on, we are compared to others or made to be like others. Comparison and fear are the enforcers, aided by punishment or unpleasant consequences.
How can you be accepted and appreciated by others if you do not appreciate yourself and celebrate your uniqueness? It is the visibility and the public exposure that brings about the proper terrain for confident personal power.
Nervousness, inadequacies, vulnerabilities, sensitivities, pains, disappointments, fears, sense of loss, survival issues, lack of acceptance or honesty, etc., all come rushing to the surface and become the perfect obstacles to build your victory platform.
Every single person is not only unique but expresses uniquely; however, it is only a potential until one is ready to confront one’s deep-seated fears. One cannot celebrate uniqueness by either copying others, usually badly, or by hiding oneself from exposure.
You might be more ready than you think to be appreciated and validated for your unique contribution. Personal power has everything to do with risking exposing how we truly feel and claiming who we are lock, stock, and barrel. Being you can be a daring and risky adventure.
What to do? Share openly about your nervousness and what is happening to you. People will reward you for it.
If you are the focus of attention, it carries with it a certain accountability and responsibility. You are holding the fort. We look up to you. We want you to succeed. Not only that, but we root for you but only after you have demonstrated to us that you are in charge of yourself, the room, us (the audience), and of course in charge of your brilliant content. The more control you show, the more obedient your audience becomes. It is also true in one-on-one interactions.
Be a little of a lion tamer. Leading is a natural act, so is following. Think of two partners dancing, ridding a horse, flying an airplane, etc. An audience or a person is always willing to listen.
There are four essential elements to take charge of and own:
(1) Yourself: your body through gravity, balance, breathing, postures, gestures, eye focus, movements, use of staging, your intentions: to plant, belong, relate, serve, inspire, connect, command, direct, respect, educate, inform, etc.
(2) The room you’re in as in distances, volumes, lights, and overall atmosphere.
(3) The audience or the person you are speaking with: what they do and do not do or how they respond or do not. What they are looking at. What they postures and gestures are, etc.
(4) Your content and its various intentional parts. It also includes your knowledge about what you are talking about.