The Art of Speaking is the Art of Pausing
Every verbal attempt has a rhythm and a tempo, very much like music does.
Context and Premise: Beyond a solid presence and a decent set of skills, good speaking is often viewed as a verbal art form. Elocution, diction, projection, and modulation — just to name a few — are commonly considered essential ingredients for an excellent presentation or keynote performance.
But what if I told you that the true mastery of the art of speaking lies in the art of pausing? Placing verbal expression above all else, and at the expense of pauses, is the amateur’s way of communicating. Indeed, far more goes into first-rate public speaking than just verbal prowess, and it’s important to pierce this myth.
Granted, verbal power plays a pivotal role, alongside other critical elements like intentions, staging, presence, experience, impact, and message. However, these elements share two fundamental dynamics: space and time. Practically speaking, time is punctuated by silence — or pauses. Overloading an audience with non-stop verbal content, whether in a speech or a conversation, spells disaster. It’s also profoundly annoying. Here’s why:
The moment you open your mouth, your words create a rhythm and tempo, much like music. A harmonious balance between sound and silence is as essential in speaking as it is in music. Silence is what gives shape to sound. Musical notation acknowledges this with articulation marks like slurs, staccatos, accents, and phrase marks. Similarly, spoken language is governed by time (rhythm, phrasing, and pauses) and melody (pitch, intonation, and inflection).
Without silence, spoken language would be a chaotic torrent of sound, impossible to process. Silence — or the pause — creates space for listeners to feel, think, and truly hear. In fact, ideas and the speaker’s effectiveness are grasped during the pause, not during the words and sentences themselves. Ideas and the effectiveness of the speaker are grasped at the pause or during the silence of your performance.
All Pauses Are Pregnant
Pauses generate the dramatic impact of speeches and conversations alike. Good speakers use pauses to verify that their message is being received. Interestingly, they can only listen to their audience during a pause. Without pauses, there’s no opportunity to check for impact or if the message is gotten. If you catch it, there’s humor in this: we listen best when we stop talking.
Contrary to popular belief, people don’t truly listen to your words while you’re speaking — they’re waiting for the pause. During that silence, they digest what was said, make sense of it, and adjust their understanding. Without pauses, communication is an onslaught rather than an exchange. The pause is the only time your audience can connect with the value and meaning of your words.
The Magic of Subtext
Pauses are the oxygen of all verbal communication, from casual conversations to the most impactful speeches. They are what allow people to understand not just what you are saying, but also what you mean. Pauses are pregnant with subtext — the emotions, thoughts, and intentions you’re not explicitly saying but are powerfully expressing.
Subtext is simply a theatrical convention packed with what the speaker or actor is feeling, thinking and experiencing but is NOT SAYING! Consider Shakespeare: many actors focus on the beauty of his language but miss the depth of meaning, which lies in the pauses. Shakespeare was, above all, a master dramatist. His plays demand extraordinary pauses to unveil their true meaning. The story goes that he had to be convinced to rewrite his plays using poetry. Originally, they were in everyday English.
Remember this simple yet profound truth: people don’t hear you while you speak — they hear you when you stop. The art of pausing, then, is the true engine behind all great communication. It is the “interruption that creates the possibility of understanding.” I find that assertion very amusing because most people want to become better speakers or deliver their rehearsed talk with power. Well, if you become a better “pauser”, you’ll naturally become a better “performer” and a much more sophisticated speaker. The two are intimately connected.
Mastering the Pause
All pauses are pregnant with content. You can intimidate with pauses, or you can impact tactfully with them. What takes place in the silence is quite revealing. For instance, when you send an email to someone, and they do not write back for days after they receive it, it creates “a communication lag and the silence becomes charged with questions or projections.”
Watch people who pause a great deal. They hold your attention. It is because they pause intentionally. Pauses are not just there to breathe. If you want to elevate your speaking, practice “going for the pause.” This technique transforms you into a better performer and a more sophisticated communicator. To execute it, watch and hear each snippet of the sentence you’re about to express before you say it. As you refine this skill, you’ll learn to infuse your pauses with intention, emotion, mood, and style.
When you pause intentionally, you also begin to hear your audience — how they’re listening, reacting, and connecting to you. Every pause creates an energy, an atmosphere that skilled speakers and performers recognize intuitively. Think of great actors, singers, or public speakers: they hold your attention because their pauses are deliberate and charged with subtext. Importantly, pausing is not the same as slowing down. It’s about ensuring that each pause carries subtext, intention, and atmosphere.
Silence in Relationships
More is said in the silence or subtext in communication situations than with the actual speaking. For example, silence in a one-on-one conversation often reveals the truth of a relationship. Have you ever observed a couple sitting silently at a restaurant? Even without words, their silence speaks volumes. The same is true in all communication. If you want to know how well any relationship is doing, listen to what is taking place in the silences when you are with that person. You will hear everything they feel and think. It can be a little scary at first, because it’s all there. What is not said but felt is very powerful.
If you have the courage to confront the contents of silence, you will become present to a whole new level of understanding yourself and the other. It does take some practice.
How to Practice the Art of Pausing
How do I practice the art of pausing? By listening actively at every pause you intentionally make. One listens, sustains, and contemplates at pauses. One listens to: impact, mood, thoughts, feelings, adjustments to be made, reactions, change, etc. It takes courage to listen to silence and it will undoubtedly demonstrate the maturity of the speaker or performer.
Once you begin seeing pauses as the very heart of your speaking in an absolute manner, you’ll find that all your concerns or fears about speaking will magically disappear.
Conclusion
The art of speaking is, fundamentally, the art of pausing. Pauses are not merely breaks in speech — they are the heart of communication. When you embrace them as tools for delivering subtext, intention, and connection, you elevate your presence and stature.
By mastering the pause, you’ll discover a profound transformation in how others perceive you. You’ll be seen as thoughtful and deeply engaging — and watch as your words resonate with intentional power.
Wishing you great success,
Eric Stone
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Husband | Coach | Focused on Performance, Leadership, Public Speaking & Business Communication | Visual Artist & Author | Talent Developer
Favorite quote: “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it! Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!”
