How Well Do You Know Yourself?
A Deep Dive into A Provocative Character Inquiry!
Regardless of the situations we find ourselves in, we are always forwarding an acceptable role, putting on an act, projecting body postures, gestures, and testing new facial expressions. After all, we learn a great deal by mimicking.
It takes a certain quality of insight to realize that a lot of our behaviors are not only conditioned behaviors but also well-rehearsed chosen behaviors. I hope you find this inquiry useful and insightful.
Asking the right questions is often more powerful than giving answers. For instance, what is the universe? What is the origin of matter? It is the questions that inspire the answers regardless of the challenging difficulty of the questions.
Let’s Play a Fun Game
Reflect sincerely on the questions below. Let the questions penetrate you as opposed to answering them intellectually or casually. Make it into a fun game and try to take your time with it — almost like a meditation or contemplation. People who have participated in the past with this process have discovered much about themselves and how they operate in the world. Many others gained deep insights into making themselves more aware and skilled at the game of life on all fronts. Write freely on your notepad or computer.
Please answer all questions and see more instructions at the bottom.
Painting Your True Portrait
1-What’s genuinely & unanimously “LIKABLE” about you?
No questions asked, what is hand down obvious…(Feel free to ask your family, friends, or colleagues about it.) Or perhaps your intuition can tell you instantly.
2-What are your aspirations, hopes, and desires?
What are you really busy working on personally, inside your family, socially and professionally?
3-What are some of the things or people you cannot live without?
What is most important to you as a person? It could be a person, a cause, a group, etc.
4-Who do you know yourself to be in your heart?
Your principles, character, personality, beliefs, intelligence, etc. Also look emotionally, spiritually, etc. Find at least 3 adjectives or descriptions per item. For instance fun, har working, romantic, intelligent, a great friend, punctual, respectful, tidy, passionate, etc.
5-Who do you wish you were at times?
Does it strike a chord? Are there qualities you’d like to possess that you do not believe you possess? List them. It could be that you want to be more organized, more optimistic, not so concerned about money or your image, etc.
6-Who will you always refuse to be?
It might include things like being a fool, a martyr, arrogant, a liar, a criminal, etc…please expand and use the ones that truly jumps at you.
7-How do you think others see you?
Friends? Family? Associates? Co-workers? The media? Your readers? Followers? How does it affect you? Do you feel understood by people? Is how you occur for people important to you? Why? Is it reputation? Truth? Are there places, situations and people with whom you do not feel seen? Recognized or understood? List them.
8-How do you want to be remembered by others?
Personally, professionally, and socially? Does it matter to you to leave a mark on the world? Fulfilling a great purpose? Be great at something?
9-If you were an actor, what characters could you easily play?
What is your type? Leading role? Athletic? Professional? Romantic? Tough guy? Friend? Edgy? Shy? Daredevil? Think of professions or situations in movies or series. Are they protagonists or antagonists? Are you a trouble maker? Type A personality? What are your favorite movies and movie stars of all time? Ask yourself why? What qualities do you admire in them? Who’s your favorite singer or band? Why?
10-What are the roles you play the most in life?
Colleague, Friend, Lover, Boss? Son? Uncle? Brother, Wife, Sister, Partner? Confident? Martyr? Boss? Leader? Cheerleader? Do you like them? Do you feel that they are creative outlets for you or just part of life? Do you feel that you chose these roles? Which ones do you feel were imposed on you? Which ones do you absolutely adore? Are there some you miss?
11-What would you like to change about any of the roles you play?
…and what are some of the ways you could be more creative with them?
12-Do the roles you embody free you up?
Do you see these roles as detached from you? You know you are playing them but somehow you control them and can turn them on and off easily. Or do you feel constrained by them? Is it something you think about? Do some of the roles you play make you tired? Depressed? Numb, angry, etc.?
13-What is the “act” you seem to embody the most in life?
An act can be different than an obvious role such as father or son. An act is like an overall archetype that seems to dominate our lives. Examples are: Good guy or good girl, professional, demanding, doormat, knows who he or she is, is better than everyone else, nice, patronizing, a friend, tough, focused, private, odd, on top, reliable, know-it-all, people pleaser, in control, introvert, extrovert, etc. How many of these “acts” do you enjoy? Are they all your own creations? Which ones are old but you keep on playing them?
14-Which roles or acts do you feel totally at the mercy of?
In other words, which roles feel or seem automatic, reactionary, lacking energy? Demanding? Not really in your flow? Pissing you and others off, etc?
15-Who are your role models in life?
Who are the people who have or still make a great impression on you? Do you know why? Explain…
16-What are your best qualities?
This is not an egotistical self-serving question, rather what do you know and believe you contribute to the world, to life, your job or company, your craft, your art, to your community, your family, your social networks, etc.
17-What are some human flaws you sometimes display that are:
- (1) Likable
- (2) Un-likable?
- (3) Unflattering? Either to yourself or to others?
18-What are the important things to stay vigilant about in your life?
Where do you seem to stress the most about? Or whom? What? Are you hard on yourself, too emotional, self-critical, high expectations of yourself or others, perfectionist, suffering in silent, not out-spoken with certain people, etc.? Do you feel you have blind spots? A blind spot is something you do, think, say or feel but have no real awareness that you are doing them. Reflect on it and explain what comes to your mind.
19-What are your true aspirations?
If you had a magic wand: what is happening in your life? If the sky was the limit, what would your life really look like? Feel like? How far do you feel you are from the life you were born to live? Perhaps closer than you thought?
20-What is your Energy level on average?
On a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being the least, 10 being the most: Are there moments during the day where you feel totally energized? Not at all? Certain days? With certain people? Are there things you have no energy for but do anyway? And vice-versa, are they things you have tons of energy for but you refrain from doing them? What motivates you? Adventure? Security? Love? Solitude? Accomplishment? Possibilities? Hope? Fixing things or people?
21-What is your level of sensitivity about yourself and others?
Your actions? Your thoughts? Your feelings? About others? In other words how conscious of yourself are you in relationship to these?
22-What is your Fear Factor about life?
What does the word fear evoke in you? Fear of tomorrow? Fear of inadequacy? Fear of not making it? Fear of the past? Of not knowing? Of looking stupid? Something that could happen? Fear of intimacy? Fear of not having a purpose?…
23-What is your Enthusiasm level?
What is your accountability level with others? With yourself? What is your Communication skill level? What is your Sensitivity to others’ feelings? Your own? Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10.
24-What is your Confrontational Skill level?
Are you someone who confronts others and situations to make things right? Are you somebody who keeps looking without flinching, no matter what? Does not shy away? Do you love a good fight? Or not at all? When you have an issue with something or someone, do you go to them immediately? Or do you avoid confrontation?
25-Do you feel you have control issues?
Do you feel out of control at times? What is your relationship to control if you were asked to look honestly? Do you find others controlling? Do you get tired a lot? What seem to be the excesses in your life if anything? What happens to you when things don’t go your way?
26-Your Belief System & Values
To what things, beliefs, ideas about life, and moral values do you find yourself most attached to? What are some of the beliefs and ideas you have about yourself, others, life, or the world that:
- (1) Work for you really well?
- (2) No longer work for you? Are you doing anything about it? How do you feel about these questions?
Note: After you’re done with all questions, please read them over. Let them sink in and permeate your psyche so to speak. Then come up with interesting and insightful remarks about yourself, others, your process, life… What did you discover? How did you feel about the process? Anything in particular was revealing to you?
I hope the process was valuable to you.
Eric Stone
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Husband | Coach | Focused on Performance, Leadership, Public Speaking & Business Communication | Visual Artist & Author | Talent Developer
Favorite quote: “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it! Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!”
