Four Extraordinary Steps to an Awakened Life
If given the choice, I would rather be awake than happy. Happiness, as commonly understood, is a constructed ideal — a homogenized hope designed to soften the inherent mystery of existence. It provides solace in the face of life’s unanswerable questions, a dream summoned to temper the discomfort of not knowing why we are here at all. And yet, the unknown is not a puzzle to be solved but a reality to be embraced. As philosopher Søren Kierkegaard observed, “Why being and life, instead of nothing?”
Awakening, on the other hand, is an inherent but formidable pursuit, elusive by nature due to the very binary structure of the human mind. It is not an intellectual exercise nor an egoic conquest. One cannot simply will themselves into awakening, shedding the weight of ancestral conditioning over a weekend retreat. Yet, paradoxically, it is precisely within our limitations that transformation becomes possible. Awakening, in this sense, is a limitation — a constraint that, when properly understood, reveals itself as a transcendent or mutative state of being.
To embark on the path of awakening is to step into a uniquely personal journey — one in which life itself serves as both the teacher and the terrain. The concept of awakening is not new; it stretches back to the wisdom of the Buddha, the philosophy of ancient China, and the teachings of Hindu reincarnation. However, its transformative implications have only recently begun to take root in the Western mind. Through my own experience, I have come to see four essential steps to this journey — each an invitation to experiment with the depths of consciousness.
Step One: The Only Thing You Have Ever Missed is You
The first step in awakening is the realization that the only thing you have ever longed for — perhaps without even knowing it — is yourself. Not the conceptual self, fabricated from ego projections and external validations, but the unshakable presence of your true being.
Everything you have sought — love, purpose, fulfillment — has always been a reflection of this singular longing. This revelation opens the floodgates to a self-love so profound that it dissolves the illusion of seeking validation from the outside world. As this understanding takes root, you no longer perceive yourself as existing in relation to others’ opinions or expectations. Instead, you begin to love yourself as an independent, sovereign presence. Even the concept of duality starts to shift, revealing a deeper, more integrated understanding of existence. As Alan Watts puts it, “You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.”
With this shift comes an extraordinary lightness. The mind releases its tyrannical grip, and the critical voices that once governed your inner world begin to fade. What was once perceived as external judgment is revealed to have been internal all along — a conditioned echo, disguising itself as truth. It had infiltrated under the guise of self-improvement, whispering false promises of worthiness. But at its core, this criticism was never truly yours to bear. It was inherited, passed down through centuries of cultural narratives designed to control through fear.
Self-hatred was cultivated mistakenly from the idea that man, from the beginning of time, became a sinner when he left the Garden of Eden. This Judeo-Christian narrative, interpreted literally, placed humanity in an eternal state of guilt, estranged from divinity. But what if this was never true? What if the story itself was a construct, an allegory misread, a psychological mechanism designed to bind human potential within the walls of shame?
Little by little, self-hatred became a daily companion, and for so many, an identity. The tragedy is that not only was it never your hatred, but it was never real to begin with. It was a weaponized fiction, a fabricated narrative designed to manipulate and control. The kings, the Church, the ruling classes — whether consciously or not — perpetuated this conditioning to maintain order. Jiddu Krishnamurti said “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” This is not a political statement but an observation of history. Those in power were just as unconscious, just as lost in the collective slumber as the masses they governed. From the idea of original sin to the rigid doctrines of moral unworthiness, the human spirit was systematically taught to doubt itself. But now, you stand at the precipice of seeing beyond this illusion. When the veil of imposed guilt is lifted, what remains is not a fallen creature but a being of infinite potential — free, unshackled, and whole.
Step Two: Everything is Movement, and You Are No Exception
Once the weight of self-rejection begins to dissolve, a new challenge arises. The second step is the recognition that all existence, both within and without, is a ceaseless movement of energy through time and space. This movement is indifferent to identity — it simply flows, beyond our grasp or control. As Heraclitus famously stated, “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”
The common denominator of this energy is motion: the endless interplay of light, sound, and matter. This realization unveils a profound truth — there is no fixed ‘you’ to hold onto. If everything, including your thoughts, emotions, and self-perceptions, is in constant uninterrupted flux, then what remains? As Nisargadatta Maharaj puts it “Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.”
It is here that a startling awareness emerges: there is only the observer, the witness to the ever-unfolding movement of existence. Who, then, is the “I am” that is not an “I am”? This paradox invites you to relax into the fluidity of being, to surrender the illusion of permanence, and to embrace the unknown with grace. In doing so, you take your first steps beyond duality.
Step Three: Nothing Matters — Absolutely
With the dissolution of a fixed self, the mind undergoes a quantum shift in perception. You begin to see that, in a most profound sense, nothing truly matters — absolutely. Not in a nihilistic way, but as a liberating truth. Jean-Paul Sartre captures this sentiment in Being and Nothingness: “Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.” Albert Camus echoes this freedom brilliantly, stating, “The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.”
As step three takes hold, you begin to sense that all you have ever given meaning to, is relative meaning — from the perspective of an illusionary sense of identity. Relative to a made-up “me” or “I”. You begin to sense that your true essence is no “thing”. And yet here you are awake and aware that no identity is required to be fully alive.
Step Four: The Universe Has No Rules, Only Spontaneous Beauty
As this unfathomable step reveals itself to you, what gets launched is an extraordinary reflection on the origins of life. The Big Bang, and all the chaos or entropy it engendered, come into renewed focus. You begin to suspect that even the Big Bang is part of the movement, and no longer a source of puzzling meaning.
You have now embarked on the fourth step, which is to naturally discover that there are no rules and no purpose to the universe — as it expands at an incredible speed. All that can be observed are quantum happenings and spontaneous events of unimaginable beauty and mystery. From that point on, you will officially enter your individual mystical journey — and what a journey it promises to be! You will inevitably penetrate into the magical realms of compassion and laughter, two inseparable companions.
At last, you will feel the simple wonder of being alive at the core of your awareness, and the profound feeling and sensation that nothing was ever in your hands. What a liberation! We are here on earth for just a moment, and there is so much to see when you finally let go.
A profound ecstasy emerges! With the vanishing of responsibility, guilt, or blame, all that remains is an exquisite appreciation for existence as it is — untouched by moralistic dictates and suffering. The dance of within and without dissolves into unity, and you stand at the threshold of an awakened life, not as a seeker, but as a witness to the ever-unfolding wonder of being.
Note: This essay is an exploration of intuitive awareness, offered as a creative musing. At times, my aim is to stir the spirit — to provoke, not for the sake of challenge, but to inspire new ways of seeing. If I were a poet, I would say that within the immense beauty and mystery of life on Earth, I seek to be an invisible hand — one that helps the soul relax and, more importantly, realize it is truly okay to be here on this plane. I see myself as a traveling mystic, an emotional spirit filtering universal consciousness in the now. I feel like a witness to a great cosmic joke that plays with my very being.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
I have learned one elementary truth: people are not their fears, their doubts, or the stories running loops in their heads. There’s a masterpiece inside every being. The development of self — especially self-reliance — is the education that matters most.
Every decision I have made is in fact a direction. It determines the quality of my experiences and their outcome — good or bad. Therefore, I live by a single code: my instincts and intuition run my life, not my mind. My mind is a precious tool for research, stimulation, creative ideas, and communication with others — not my guide, my guru, or my boss.
Outside of work? I keep my world simple, cooking like a madman (with a glass of wine nearby), playing piano, researching, and writing. Humor — sharp and unrelenting — is my weapon against the dullness of small talk. I spend countless hours in conversation with my wife, deepening our understanding of life, each other, and the one thing that truly matters to us: awareness.
Critical Skills to Empower Your Journey & Light up Your Soul
I founded the Eric Stone Studio in Los Angeles in 1989, coaching actors, performers, and voice artists while actively working as an actor and director. In 2003, I expanded my coaching to business professionals, helping them master communication, leadership, and media presence. Today, I’m a husband and a performance coach, sharing powerful insights and techniques for public speaking, self-development, and business communication. From 1979 to 2015, I built a career in New York and Hollywood, performing on Broadway, in soap operas, and voicing over 400 films and animated series.
“All Great Outcomes in Life Come from a Paradigm Shift in Perspective.”
