Could Trust Be the Doorway to Freedom and Self-Love?

An essay in intuitive awareness and direct experience

I don’t know about you but trust has never been easy for me. No need to apologise really as culturally it is still most acceptable.

Needless to say betrayal, lying, manipulations, emotional blackmail, denial and withholds are the natural outcomes.

However, I do see trust as a quasi-enchanted gateway to a terrific array of experiential knowledge — ironically, the only kind of knowledge I trust. You know, actually eating the meal instead of staring at the menu.

I recently expressed in my art journal that trust is possibly the doorway to a formidable sense of personal freedom. It just came out of me in a moment and I was fortunate to write it down.

I realised that when I don’t trust I really miss myself. I feel vacant, anxious and irritated. I have known this for a long time but it doesn’t change the fact that trust is not easy for me. Hence, why I welcome and only trust experiential knowledge in all its forms.

As I reflected and contemplated further on trust, it dawned on me that the lack or absence of trust is a homogenised frequency. What I mean is that it’s acquired in our early formative years. Beware of strangers type of parental advice.

Basically this absence of trust doesn’t belong to anyone in particular and it typically speaks through our minds: don’t trust anyone, competition is rampant or it’s a “dog eat dog” world out there. Be number one! Succeed no matter what. Plan your work and work your plan. It’s you or me not you and me, etc. In other words, don’t trust anyone.

There are frequencies that are very difficult to resist their invasion and being cautious or mistrustful is one of them. For instance, I feel that the fear of the future is a very strong conditioning factor. I like the word frequency because it gets to the essence of how futile it is to resist it. It passes through you like a hot knife through butter. Frequency penetrates and informs you and until you serendipitously begin to experience your own frequency, you just keep on absorbing the frequencies du jour. There are so many.

A quote from my journal: “It is a pleasure, an honour and a kick in the derrière to be the natural and playful me as much as I can everywhere I go. Sourced in my appreciation and grounded in my breathing, I was born to be trusting, present and alert, not anxious, worried or irritated.”

So, what happens when I am out of my flow? I unwittingly buy into frequencies that inform me differently and I cease to trust life and what is happening. I stop being alert and then blame it on my mind, someone else or the circumstances. I become a victim, which comes as a bonus gift when you purchase the “don’t trust anyone or anything” bundle.

Mutation and transcendence have a price! The price is discipline and a professional attitude toward awakening to your own frequencies—what truly resonates with your being and spirit. Yes, waking up is available but NO, it does not impose itself on you, which opens up a whole new can of worms about free will and choice, doesn’t it?

Awakening, I am respectfully and sometimes painfully learning, is advanced beingness. Being is always relaxed and trusting and impossible to fake. It is practical and mechanical not a passing mind state filled with new-age refurbished concepts.

You remember being by staying present to your moods and the moods of others.

A homogenised frequency is a foreign energy in my system, a sort of uninvited and unannounced parasite. You escort it out through recognising its alien presence and breathing it out. My mind wants to “think it” out — absolutely useless and believe me, I have tried. Thinking positively to me is like sugar coating a stale piece of rotten apple in your fridge.

It has come to my attention that when we breathe out consciously and professionally, we evacuate the unwanted charged up and clogged up cells that have been bugging our internal system.

If we are meant to be influenced, let’s be conditioned by things that are good for you and actually love you back. In that sense I heard it said that we are meant to be unique, differentiated and individualised. It takes time to evacuate foul conditioning out of our sensitive auras. It can be done but requires loyal and sustained alertness and again, a professional attitude.

To me, being professional is not only to leave behind amateurism, dilettante behaviours and sentimentalism, but to adopt an impeccable code of conduct that is uniquely ours. It takes time and practice but the realm is surgical. A surgeon cannot afford to be sentimental while using a scalpel or the cut will be affected and a bad result will occur.

To be a professional is to be able to remove the falsely emotionalised or dramatised expressions out of our interactions and completely focus on respecting yourself through skill and appreciation.

Who says you cannot serve yourself impeccably? In addition, there is no conventional role-playing or paper tigers in professionalism as it is an authentic and highly personalised creative act.

“My Spirit has Ways of Seeing that my Eyes cannot Comprehend.”