Are You a Great Negotiator?

Eric Stone
5 min readSep 2, 2023

How to Impact and Influence through Relatedness?

© 2023 Philippe Benichou

Behind every human interaction, there are invisible dynamics at play. Some are physical, such as the impact somebody’s appearance has on us, while others are psychological and emotional, such as moods, tone of voice or eloquence.

A dynamic is a specific focus that influences the direction and quality of relatedness. When you interact with another human being, you enter a vast network of conditioned perspectives, judgements, cultural predispositions, not to mention circumstances, past and present. All are seemingly imperceptible. However, they play an important role as far as how we approach the other.

The more conscious of these human manifestations you become, the more leverage you possess on the other. I call it “the listening”. Indeed, we are listened to through a vast network of impressions, expectations and projections. As we enter into communication with the other, we may believe it’s a blank slate and that we are open-minded, but the truth is that the other “occurs” to us inside the social, cultural, political, and religious backgrounds we were born into. The same goes for how you occur to others. There never is a “neutral” interaction. Exchanges are always loaded with pre-existing conditions.

Regardless of the occasion or situation, we filter all communications through a complex nexus of past experiences, background frequencies of learning and processing, mental and emotional perspectives, visual and acoustic memories, intuition and instinct, as well as tactile and other sensory hunches.

We measure and scan all these levels and nuances for various purposes and intentions. For example, a date, a merger, an interview for a new job, a negotiation, a presentation, a Ted Talk, etc. From this vantage point, every exchange, regardless of its content or application, is a “negotiated sharing” between distinct views on life and understanding of the world.

With this perspective in mind, if you capture “how someone listens to you” and how you “occur” to them specifically, your game plan to impact, touch, inspire or any other intention, will align more effectively with your purpose.

“Effective communication is sourced in how we listen to each other. It has little to do with the

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Eric Stone

All great outcomes in life come from a paradigm shift in perspective. Maximize your personal development with emotional awareness, confidence & great skills.